The sound of a clock ticking filled the young girl’s mind. She closed her eyes tightly ,trying to block out the noise and the voices in her head. It had been bothering her all day while she watched her fiancée, Blythe, pack for his mission. He knew that she’s been going in and out of depression for the past month, dreading her birthday as it slowly arrived. Blythe would steal glances at Mally every few minutes and watch as she’d sketch, crumble up the piece of paper, and throw it at the wall, missing the small iron trash can. He saw her rub her wrists as they slowly began to hurt and hear her mumble something before trying again, going through the process.
Mally sighed in frustration as she messed up again on her drawing, for the umpteenth time. She’d already used up most of the paper in her sketchbook and only got one drawing done. ‘Just stop,’ a voice in her head said, standing out from the rest of the voices that were buzzing around her head. ‘You’re just going to keep failing. Why bother? You’ll fail again, and again, and again….’ The voice continued and she scratched her head, trying to make the voice stop. “Mally,” she heard the soft voice say before looking up at the owner. Blythe was standing there, looking down at her with worry easily seen in his eyes.
He sat down next to her and held her hand, gripping it tightly. “Don’t….” He said, his voice quiet. “It won’t help you…. You know that….” She nodded her head slightly, knowing he was right. When she spoke, her voice was soft, like a whisper, “Please…. Don’t leave…. I need you for tomorrow. I can’t be left alone…” Her eyes filled with tears at the last sentence and she held onto his hand, as if her life depended on it. She didn’t want to let go… She couldn’t.
“You know I have to.. Don’t be sad, Mally, I’ll be back tomorrow. Please, I can’t stand to see you this sad…” He kissed her forehead gently, slowly rising to his feet and grabbing his bag. Mally sat there, her sketchbook still in her lap and whimpered quietly as he let go of her hand. She needed to hold his hand. She could already tell that her mind was already slowly reeling back into her depressed state.
Blythe laid his hand on her shoulder and kissed her gently, his lips soft against hers, before finally standing up. “I love you Mally,” he said, “I always will. I’ll be back tomorrow. I promise.” Mally could only nod her head, tears threatening to fall as she watched him walk out, the door closing with a soft click behind him. She curled herself up into a ball, her pencil making a small scratch on her wrist. She didn’t even it any mind as tears slowly began to follow out of her eyes, staining her cheeks and the paper of her sketchbook.
It had already been a few hours since Blythe left and Mally had begun her normal routine of practicing. Currently, she was in her room, practicing on her violin for a song she wanted to record soon. She growled to herself in frustration as she missed several notes over and over again. She sighed and sat down on her bed. Things were getting worse every day. The voices in her head were growing louder and louder, she was messing up more than ever, her friends even looked at her strangely. Mally had tried everything to try to make things go back to normal; She’s taken medicine, hypnosis, everything. She began to consider giving up on everything… The only thing keeping her from doing so was Blythe. She couldn’t even think of leaving him…
She sighed again as she looked at the clock. 10:00 PM. She didn’t even notice how much time had passed. Mally sighed and closed her sheet music folder, setting her violin in its case. Before she started to change, she looked out of her window to see the glimmering lights of the town. Even if she’s royalty, she does day dream of being a middle-class person. Being like her parents, living in a small house, raising a normal family. As she finished changing, she laid down on her bed, staring at the ceiling.
The next morning was worse than the day before. The voices in Mally’s head were louder than ever, which ended up giving her a headache when she tried to scratch her head to make the voices stop. She was about to snap. She needed Blythe. She had to feel his warm skin against hers, the feel of his soft lips on her forehead, feeling his comforting hand holding hers. Tears had begun to fill her eyes as she thought of him. He hadn’t been gone for 12 hours and she was already falling apart. As she walked out of her room, Haruna, one of Mally’s closest friends walked over to her. “Mally,” her voice was soft and quiet. “Are you okay? You need to take a break….. You’ve been working yourself too much…”
“Don’t worry about me Haruna,” Mally replied, putting on a fake smile. “I’m fine, just in a daze… I-.”
“Mally, don’t lie to yourself… You should go take a walk… You’ve been locked up in your room for hours.” Haruna’s words only added to the noise buzzing around in Mally’s head. She held her head and put another fake smile on her face. “Please Haruna…. Don’t worry about me….” Mally’s voice was weak and quiet, showing obvious signs that her sanity was falling apart quickly. Haruna stood there, her eyes full of worry for her dear friend. “Mally….” She started only to see that Mally had begun walking down the hall and out of the large oak doors.
Mally walked around town and stopped at the park. She could smell the sweet scent of roses and slowly walked towards a rose bush. She sat down behind it, the flowers and the leaves hiding her as she hugged her legs to her chest. Her hands slowly traveled down to her blade as she pulled it out of its sheath. The blade felt cold against her skin as she pressed it against her arm. No, she didn’t want to draw blood, she only wanted to just create a small scratch.
As the blade’s edge slowly scratched her wrist, Mally closed her eyes and slowly went into her dream world. There, she saw her brother, mother, and father. They smiled at her and her brother opened his arms, beckoning her towards them. She tried to run to them, reaching out to them as tears fell from her face. As she reached them, they slowly began to vanish from view. Darkness began to suck all of the light from her, filling her lungs, eating her heart. Tears flowed from her eyes as she slowly closed them, giving in to the darkness.
A ring from her cell phone woke Mally from her dream. She was panting, tears flowing from her eyes as she took out her phone. It was a text from Blythe. She almost read it but she didn’t. She just put her phone away and curled up.
Unknown to her, a certain male was just walking into the park. Blythe looked around as he searched for Mally, learning from Haruna that she had left. Worry clouded his mind as he thought of all the things that she could’ve done by now. He’s tried texting her but never got a reply back. He sent another text and heard the familiar song of the ringtone Mally had set for him. He walked over to the source and saw Mally curled up, crying.
“Mally…..” The sound of his voice made her look up, tears still running down her face. She smiled slightly as he looked down at her, shocked at seeing the scratches all along her wrists. “Wh-what happened….?” His voice was quiet, still trying to make things click in his mind.
Her smile only widened as her hands let go of her blade. “Don’t worry,” she said, her voice hoarse. “Everything will be alright…. Just give me some time…” Her hands slowly wrapped themselves around her neck, her mind going back to her dream. Her brother’s warm embrace, her mother and father’s voices telling her to come with them. She didn’t need to stay… She had lived more than long enough without them. She smiled as her fingers closed around her neck.
“Mally….?!” Blythe grabbed her arm as her hands tightened around her neck and pulled her towards him. His arms wrapping around her as her eyes widened, tears beginning to fall from her eyes. “Mally…” His voice was a whisper now, but still held the strength she needed in it. “There’s no need for you to do this….” His arms tightened around her, pulling her closer. He pulled her hands from her neck, looking her in her tear filled eyes. “Are you okay…?” She nodded and smiled, truly smiled through her tears.
“Yes….” Her voice now light, finally happy to be with him. “Yes, it’s okay…” He smiled down at her, kissing her forehead as he said softly, “Let’s go home..” She nodded and held onto him as he picked her up. Her voice barely a whisper, she said, “I love you….” And closed her eyes.